Departure and Plane Derpin'

Had a sandwich with the padre at the airport. Pretty delicious, but the dutch roll didn’t hold a candle to Ike’s dutch crunch. I firmly believe that bread makes or breaks a sandwich. It’s true!

For some reason I’m suddenly a nervous traveler. I’ve done the France - US route before by myself, and that was three years ago. It wasn’t a big deal. And now that I’m older and more worldly, it suddenly is. That feels backwards.

Anyways, I knew this would be a fun trip as soon as I saw the security guards gathering around the computer screen to discuss the contents of my backpack. They asked me what the metal cylinder that looked like it was wrapped in my sweatshirt was. I told them it was a microphone. They did a swab analysis thing on it to confirm that it was as benign as I claimed. 

There was also this new spinning full body X-ray thing that you step into that was kind of  fun. I step in, smirking a little as I sometimes can’t help but do. The little body diagram the machine spits out showed a yellow box of caution/danger right above my heart. A security guard asked me if I “had anything there.” (?) Um, like a heart? Or, a plate of metal? Or...umm...anyways...I think I answered correctly (“no”) and after a manual search pat down thing they confirmed that I was allowed to step on a plane. 

In the plane they have TOUCH-SCREENS?!?! I feel like I’m getting so old. Back in the day, the whole plane had no choice but to watch the same movie on these little dinky screens spaced way too far apart. There are billions of entertainment options. I decided to start with “Drive,” which was very good but unbelievably graphic. Violence + airplane food = Mrahh. The elevator kiss though. ZOMG. O__O Whatever, 50 Shades, I completely dgaf about your elevator scene. The elevator kiss in “Drive” has to be the epitome of *drool.* ANYWAYS. The curt, British businessman sitting next to me watched “The Hunger Games,” and the 12 year old boy in front of me watched “Superbad.” These two facts made me laugh. Now listening to Regina Spektor. My touchscreen tells me I have 7 hours and 9 minutes to go, and this post is now too long. Apologies! Signing out!